FAIL Tuesday - Collect your prize Schabir Shaik

The biggest failure of the week has to be Schabir Shaik, the "terminally ill" convicted criminal that is on death’s bed. Well he has been spotted by numerous people saying that he doens’t look ill at all, to put it in the most simple words: he is supposed to be in JAIL but he is NOT! 

Lady Gaga-Are you serious?

What is up with this woman, her wardrobe consists of the most absurd and weird things. It will not surprise me if she has a fridge or a small butchery in her closet because where the hell does she come up with all her fashion ideas. I have also read somewhere that she doesn’t wear the same thing twice (not sure if it is entirely true), personally I don’t blame her cause meat and plants don’t stay fresh forever, they rot some or other time.

And all these rumors that she is the Antichrist, the devil’s right hand is so funny. Story is that she apparently sold her soul to him in exchange for a shot at fame. If this is true then the Jonas Brothers, Britney Spears and Miley Cyrus are so screwed for eternity. Seriously who believes that she is going to take over the world?!

Friday is BABE day-Let's do Bikes

I like it, if you don’t…then what the hell is up with you bro!? Just kidding, I choose this theme because of countless requests from people. 

I am quite sure I can type a whole essay with all their names here that wanted this so badly, and I hope this doesn’t disappoint the faithful. 

So without any further ado, here is what many of us dream and crave, a sexy half naked girl on a damn good motorcycle. It doesn’t get any better than this.

Check Out - Oppikoppi Unknown Brother Prepare yourself!

You read it and now it is time to prepare for the premier music festival in South Africa where the 3 days of chaos and dust separate the iron livers from the virgins. The Oppikoppi farm is allocated inside Northam in the bush where all hell will break lose. 

This year’s theme is Unknown Brother and it will not let you down in any way. What you can expect is a lot of drinking, sex in uncomfortable places, sunburn, frostbite in your toes, dust everywhere, wandering drunk alone in the dark, delicious Shwarma’s, Francios van Coke, cold showers, thorns in every finger, friends trying to funnel every alcohol drink in your campsite, stumbling around for wood, penis shaped drawings on your car window, missing half of the music acts, losing your buddies every 5 minutes, Black Label, passing out next to your tent, tequila shot glasses around your neck, broken danger tape and in plain words, a rocking good time.

Eye Candy- Keeley Hazell

Hazell was born in Lewisham and is a model for various magazine’s for guys.

At 16 years of age, Hazell left school to work as a hairdresser. At 17, she competed in The Daily Star's "Search for a Beach Babe" contest and won. Hazell is regularly featured in Nuts and Zoo. Keeley has her own model agency that she started in 2008.

Keeley has given modelling up to pursue a career in acting and was in America receiving acting lessons.

In January 2011 Keeley started an online blog called Keeley's Corner www.keeleyscorner.blogspot.com

Some more useless trivia, she has a SEX TAPE out with her former boyfriend that includes a few naughty scenes that are not for the faint hearted.

Being a BUM, and rocking at the same time

They are everywhere at the moment, street corners, malls and even the curb outside your house. You won't easily get rib of them except if you throw them with money or an object that looks like a R5, think large bottle caps: works like a charm. 

But I am not going to bitch and moan about it, because we do that everyday. Don't tell me you have never swatted or chased them away like they have been infected with the black plague. I do it, your mom does it even your grandpa in his Datsun bakkie is guilty of it.

Let’s do the FAIL - Harold Camping

He is probably the biggest FAIL of this week without a doubt, if you are asking yourself who is Harold Camping, well readers it is the guy that said the world will end and the rapture will be on the 21^st of May 2011…..Well it is already the 24^th of May and still no end of the world in sight! Take a bow Mr Camping because you are in fact the biggest Failure of the week! Good One

I was ALMOST a victim of South African Crime, prevention is the key.

This is based on actual events that happened yesterday.

It was a mighty fine Sunday afternoon, so I decided to treat my girl for a day at the Zoo. We were driving to our destination and approximately 5minutes from it, I ended a call from my cell phone and all of a sudden there were two black hands on it from outside the window....

Some of you might have been in a similar situation as mine or will be someday, it is inevitable for us living in a country like South Africa. I am not always this negative about it but fuck that, I am fed up with this shit! But there are proper ways to prevent stuff like this from happening:

Friday is BABE day: Who likes guitars?

Another week has seen its ass and the lovely weekend is upon us. That only means one thing, it is the Almighty Babe day. This week's theme is all about the instruments which some girls are just so much better than us with, that is right people.  

Guitars, it can be with a normal one or the ones where we pretend we are high profile rock stars, Guitar Hero (which I suck badly at). Have a  great one my precious readers!

 

Recollections of a former 22 year old’s night:

I am writing this now because if I had to yesterday, my keyword would have been covered in Olmega and brandy.

As some of you know I had my party on Tuesday the 17^th of May, and how epic was it. I can still feel the alcohol flowing through my veins as I am typing this. Back to the start, where it all began. My dearest mom took me out for Sushi and beer in the morning, that was the first of many alcoholic refreshments to come.

Friday WAS Babe day

It is a bit late my readers I know that, but due to unforseen circumstances my beloved blog was offline the whole damn Friday.

So here it goes, it just does not pack the same punch as a Friday afternoon, but better late than never. Last week's theme was Latina's courtesy of Dylan. So feast your eyes on the ladies of the countries we wish we were all from.

Think before you write

How important is grammar, it can make or break a sentence. I know a lot of people don’t give a hell about it, but I do because it means how educated are you or if you know how to use the check spelling tool on your device.

 I am not talking about the spelling when you write to your Liefie or Gawie on your Blackberry, that can pass for any kind of writing because it is usually consists of, “Bbe e sa ltr jo si, wnt e t bsg mt m wrk or hud? dnt knw wht t do 2nght, thy r gon out bt I rly nt in d mood fr anythn.”

Eye Candy Eva Mendes

Eva Mendes (born March 5, 1974) is an American actress and model.

She began acting in the late 1990s, and after a series of minor roles and performances in several smaller films such as Children of the Corn V: Fields of Terror (1998) and Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000), she broke into the mainstream, appearing in leading roles in Hollywood releases, such as Training Day (2001); 2 Fast 2 Furious, Once Upon a Time in Mexico and Stuck on You (all 2003); Hitch (2005); Ghost Rider and We Own the Night (both 2007); The Spirit (2008); Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans (2009); The Other Guys.

Welcome to FAIL Tuesday

This day every week shall be known forth as Fail Tuesday, where I will be putting on the best fail pictures and videos. It will not be themed like Babe Friday but I will rather be spoiling your eye balls with the best fails you have ever seen. It will be anything ranging from idiotic people to camels doing what we all love others to do….FAIL!

I demand more Zombies

I demand more zombies, they are really the most awesome things in the world, except if they bite your hand or devour you’re already removed by force kidneys. I would love for more zombie movies to come out because they are what I like in a movie, no romance, a bit of comic relief and a lot of violence (no pain, no gain). But you know what would really be the bomb, if there was an outbreak like in the films, it would be chaos and shit everywhere. What was once your workplace is now turned into an undead birth chamber and your house a zombie fuck fest.

Friday is BABE day

Well hello there, it the start of the weekend people. And a day filled with babes, in lingerie as well! I got a few other ideas for today's theme, the weirdest one has probably got to be, Albino (nice Jarod). Who in this world would want to see "white" girls like that, never mind!  

 Also got a few interesting ones that really seemed like a great idea, namely girls with power tools and military babes that I will use in the future, but back to the lingerie (sexiest underwear in the universe, nothing hotter than seeing a bum in hot pants)!

The big C word, you knew it was coming

Lying deceiving and being cunning that is how people describe others that are being dishonest towards them. I'm talking about the big C, if you don't know what I am talking about, it's the C in the big R....Its cheating in a relationship. It has affected some of us, more so than others.

You know the feeling that you get when you find out, anger, pain, agony and just the moment when you just want to punch the shit out of something. Let's face it, it fucking sucks to be cheated on, but the worst has got to be cheated on, I mean really, you waking up with them screwing on you (that would be really weird and awkward for me personally).  I have experienced it both ways, and not one of them came out right, utterly kak. I promise you, nothing good comes of it. 

Have you ever felt the same as everyone else?

I know the feeling, it feels like you are not different to anyone else. It feels like you a direct copy of the person next to you in a routine that continues everyday exactly the same. It’s a little bit true because how can there not be a person in the world that is not thinking about the same stuff as you and also doing a kak job like you. Good news is that there is absolutely no one that looks like you, maybe a close resemblance, but I bet you that he doesn’t have that big zit on his forehead that makes you look like you are from India or that birth mark that some people still mistake as crap on your leg.

But my point is, be glad you are from a country where everyone (I mean male and female) does not look almost the same like these poor folks.

Bush VS Obama

So this Osama Bin Laden thing is actually quite huge because overseas news people are still going on about the story, if he is really dead and why is he dumped in the ocean. People are so damn skeptic about certain things which really is not the point of this whole post, the point I want to make is about Bush. No not that Bush (get your mind out of the gutter), I am talking about Meneer George W. Bush. He basically started this whole war on terror; Obama just took over where he left off. So just to pay tribute to the man that was the previous president of the US and A. I have put in this awesome clip showing his brilliance and knowledge of the world.

Eye Candy Gemma Atkinson

Gemma Louise Atkinson (born 15 November 1984 in Bury, Greater Manchester) is an English actress, television personality and glamour and lingerie model.

Atkinson rose to fame playing Lisa Hunter on the teenage soap opera Hollyoaks.

Atkinson made her debut video game appearance in Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3 (2008) in the role of Lt. Eva McKenna, which she reprised in Command & Conquer Red Alert 3: Uprising (2009).

Gemma Atkinson has appeared as a contestant on reality TV series such as I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! and Celebrity Weakest Link in December 2006.

Here is the mind boggler for all the readers, she is the daughter of the one and only MR BEAN….Rowan Atkinson. Weird ey?

Osama is dead, joy to the world....

Osama Bin Laden is dead and now all the attention from the Royal wedding is now shifted to the dead terrorist, now queue all the funny jokes. 

I was lost

Getting lost sucks, we all done it countless times and still keep on doing it and probably will keep on doing it till the day we die. Some people are so “rigting befok” they will probably miss the bright white light when they die and end up in Baberton's butchery. I got lost this weekend on the way to a little kid’s party and holy shit, were we lost. We were at that point where shouting and swearing in your mind was a thing of the past, we were at the moment where you just think to yourself  “Fuck me”, and to top it all off, we drove past the house twice. And the best part was yet to come, it was a pirate party so of course there were decorations on the gate, how we missed it twice is beyond me.