May 23, 2011

I was ALMOST a victim of South African Crime, prevention is the key.

This is based on actual events that happened yesterday.

It was a mighty fine Sunday afternoon, so I decided to treat my girl for a day at the Zoo. We were driving to our destination and approximately 5minutes from it, I ended a call from my cell phone and all of a sudden there were two black hands on it from outside the window....

Some of you might have been in a similar situation as mine or will be someday, it is inevitable for us living in a country like South Africa. I am not always this negative about it but fuck that, I am fed up with this shit! But there are proper ways to prevent stuff like this from happening:

1-Be aware of your surroundings, think hunter in a bush! 

2-Don't make the same mistake as I did, close your windows in areas which are hi jacking hot spots.  

3-Carry a weapon that's easy to use like pepper spray or a cool stun gun to nail these assholes.

4-Expect the unexpected, your reflexes needs to be fast. 

5-Don't feel sorry for beggars, Fuck em! That was their choice! I will not be giving out my money that I worked for, for these people that steal your stuff in anyway.

6-Keep your car in 1st gear for a quick escape if someone tries to invade your privacy and “borrow” your stuff.

7-Don't think cops will help you, I had two of them that were 6meters away just eye balling the situation and not giving a fuck.

8-Please all you girls and women, don't drive alone in dangerous areas. 

9-Don't do drugs. 

10-Keep your personal belongings safe and not that visible.

Lastly-If you can't out drive them, drive over them, self defence is the key here.

Excuse my use of language for the next few sentences:

So I had these two fucking asshole hands on my phone while it was still in my hand, he tried to grab and run away, but I pulled so hard so that the fucker came halfway in my car, his head almost at the hand brake ( even my girl got a few slaps in, good job).

So I used my free hand to fist pump him in the face, knocking my hand and his fucking eye into a purple frenzy, it was adrenaline pumping like crazy. So he fell literally on his ass in the street out of the car much to the amazement of two fucking lazy ass cops that were sitting in the safety of their van across the street!

 So it ended with me still having my phone all the way in my right hand, left knuckle hurting like hell and my girl hysterical. But life goes on and we went to enjoy our day further at the Zoo, which was very lovely.

Just remember fucker if you are reading this, you will not take my shit from me without a fight and hopefully your eye will rot out of your socket because it won't heal! Lots of kisses!  Me (ps my sexy readers, I am not a fighting person at all and really not aggressive)


  1. lekker! ek gaan hierdie 11-Steps ReTweet!