Feb 2, 2011

Chuck Norris is the man

I Know I know, Chuck Norris Jokes are lame and fucking stupid! Well then you shouldn't be reading this then! 

I like it and so should you because he WILL KICK YOUR ASS!!

Here is a few to keep you entertained, Enjoy

Chuck Norris doesn't need twitter, he's already following you.

Chuck Norris bit the Apple logo.

There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

Yoda used to be 6 feet tall till he tried that Force crap on Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer

Some magicians can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke...
that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it

Everybody tries to be perfect... Perfection tries to be Chuck Norris

When Chuck Norris was asked if he believed that the world was going to end in 2012 he resonded: "Depends how I'm feeling that day."

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience

Chuck Norris can single handedly surround his victims.

When Chuck Norris looks at himself at a mirror, there is no reflection. There can only be one Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris was supposed to star in the tv show 'Man vs Wild', but the network did not want kids thinking 'lava is safe to eat'.

Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS. Chuck Norris decides where he is.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Chuck Norris was in all 6 Star Wars movies... As The Force.

Chuck Norris is the only man to punch a cyclops between the eyes.


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