Jan 12, 2011

Very Funny Old Story but still worth a good laugh

This is a  true  story  from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a  recording  monitoring  the customer care department.
Needless  to say the Help Desk  employee  was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word  Perfect organization  for 'Termination without Cause'. Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
(Now  I  know why  they record these conversations!):
Operator:          'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'  
Caller:               'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'  
Operator:         'What sort of  trouble??'
Caller:               'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words  went away.'
Operator:         'Went  away?'
Caller:               'They disappeared.'
Operator:          'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'  
Caller:               'Nothing.'
Operator:          'Nothing??'
Caller:               'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'  
Operator:         'Are you still in  WordPerfect, or did you get out??'
Caller:               'How do I tell?'
Operator:          'Can you see the C: prompt on the  screen??'
Caller:               'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator:          'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller:               'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything  I type.'
Operator:         'Does your  monitor have a power indicator??'
Caller:               'What's a monitor?'  
Operator:         'It's the thing with  the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light  that tells you when it's on??'
Caller:                'I don't know.'
Operator:           'Well, then look on the back of the  monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see  that??'
Caller:               'Yes, I think so.'
Operator:          'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller:               'Yes, it is.'
Operator:          'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it,             not just one??'  
Caller:                'No.'
Operator:          'Well,  there are. I need you to look back there again
and find the other  cable.'
Caller:                'Okay, here it is.'
Operator:           'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'
Caller:                'I can't reach.'
Operator:           'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it  is??'
Caller:                'No.'
Operator:           'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way  over?'
Caller:                'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's  because it's dark.'
Operator:           'Dark??'
Caller:                'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.'
Operator:         'Well, turn on the office  light then.'
Caller:                'I can't.'
Operator:           'No? Why not??'
Caller:                'Because there's a power failure.'  
Operator:           'A power... a power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do  you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer  came in??'
Caller:                'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
Operator:            'Good. Go get them, and unplug  your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then  take it back to the store you bought it from.'
Caller:                 'Really? Is it that  bad?'
Operator:             'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller:                  'Well, all right then, I suppose.  What do I tell them?'
Operator:             'Tell them you're too fucking stupid to own a computer!'

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